Diagnostic computer at Costco


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One day at work, Barney said over the qubicle wall to Bill, "Man, my elbow is really hurting. I've got to go see a doctor."

Bill replied, "Save your money. They just installed a diagnostic computer at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and recommend a treatment.

"It takes less than a minute, and only costs five bucks. Faster and cheaper than a doctor."

So Barney put some of his urine into a small jar and took it down to Costco, and sat down at the diagnostic computer terminal. He paid the five dollars.
The computer lit up and asked for the urine sample. He poured in the sample into the slot and waited.

Less than a minute later, the computer printed out the following:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

Thank you for shopping at Costco.

He was amazed at this new technology!

He went home, and started to wonder if the computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water and urine samples from his wife, his son, and even his dog. Just for good measure, he "pleasured himself"
into the jar. Barney went back to Costco, eager to see what would happen.

He deposited five dollars, and poured in his concoction. Less than a minute later, the computer printed out the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your son has a cocaine habit. Get him into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Costco.